-so 4 finals down 2 more to go.
-today is saturday, december the 9th, 2006
-almost done with my first semester of dental school
-i don't think i've studied so much in my life.

-i sure know what i want--and i know i'll do just about anything to achieve my goal in becoming a dentist
-even if it means putting my relationship with kenny on hold.

-before tonight, his plan was to finish grad school by 2008, and move here to work and be close to me.
-now, that has changed. i guess that's why they call it future--it changes. and people change too (whether it be a good or bad thing).

-tonight, he got a job offer and an awesome package at a company called Abbott in telemuca, ca. awesome package. 4 day work weeks. 10K above the annual average salary in the nation. so duh, he's going to take it.
-on one side, i am happy that he got a great job with great benefits, with a big company with great potential.
-the other side is sad, because keeping a long distance relationship strains the heart-a lot.

-but what can you do? be selfish? nope. can't. you can't influence someone in taking a step backwards in order to make you happy. bc if a significant other sacrifices things for you before you guys are committed, and something goes wrong in the relationship, he/she will blame you for the rest of their life, for leading them astray professionally.
-i don't want to be a burden for him. i don't want him, or anybody to sacrifice their time and or themselves for me. not yet. not right now. Only God has done that for me, and that is enough. To tell you the truth, Jesus is all I need. He gives me strength when i'm weak. Strength to study when i'm feeling unmotivated. strength to speak from my heart.

-life is weird. it's like sometimes you feel that your relationship with someone is so solid, but someones, you just wonder...